Everyday Faith

If you’ve ever been single for a substantial period, long enough to start asking yourself the question“why?” then maybe you’ll have heard some of the same cliché BS as me: “Gods timing is better” “you have to love yourself before you can love someone else” “Once you stop looking, then it will happen” and the list goes on and on.

Well I received lines from that pile of dooky the other day and made a revelation. Here's the thing though, all of these cliché christianisms are true. And you know what? I think I even believe em, but they are just so dang hard to lean into. That’s when it hit me…the deep faith stuff isn’t hard for me to believe (I mean, its not a cake walk) but it’s engraved in my bones. I know God loves me. I believe in the cross…the complex, bloody cross. Grace and hope….sign me up.

What’s hard is the every day faith stuff. Do I love myself when I look in the mirror? Do I love God when my friend dies? Do I turn the other cheek when I get cut off on the highway? Do I lean into the fact that his plan is better? His plan sure as hell doesn’t seem better. Mine involve money and kissing, parties, grand adventures and pretty dresses. My plans are pretty great.

That's when I have to remember that the small distinction between 'bigger' and 'better' is HUGE. Gods plans are BIGGER. My plans only see past the next few hours, through the present insecurity, during the frustrating unknowns. BUT, they are small. His plans are bigger and THAT'S why they are better (in the moment they wont always seem that way though) which is why it is SO freaking difficult to believe in them in the moment. The eternal stuff...I can kinda wrap my brain around...the right now, this second kinda stuff...GOD that's hard.