South East

If you were wondering, the place I've been told to NOT go in this area is South East DC. So after asking a few people about it and doing a little of my own research I felt good about a visit. Thought it'd be a safe bet to post up at a coffee shop and find some folks to talk to there. There was only one small problem, there was literally ONE coffee shop (according to my phone) and it was a Starbucks in a Safeway with no seating (and that just wasn't gonna work for me).

But I didn't know that was the set up until I pulled into the Safeway parking lot. I was already there so I figured I'd go in and see what it had to offer. When I walked in I quickly realized something I had failed to notice...I was the only white person there. Everyone shopping and everyone working was black. I don't know why but I suddenly got the giggles...I couldn't help it. So I thought it was best that I leave. As I walked back to the parking lot I noticed little kids pointing at me (my mind flashed back to when I was in Kenya last summer...people would point and yell "muzungu, muzungu" translation: "white person, white person!") I got in my car and drove around for a bit. Literally saw not a single Caucasian. It was SO fascinating (and to me wrong, but that's another conversation.)

I was ready to head out but my blood sugar started to feel a little low. I had just passed a cute little pub right on the main drag so I flipped a U-y and looked for a place to park thinking I could get a cranberry juice real fast. (Mom and dad, you wont be surprised, but you won't love this next part). As I crossed the street a man that was takin a smoke out front stopped me "hey!" He was intimidating but not scary. "Hi..how are you?" We chatted outside for a bit..."can I buy you a drink?" It took some talking into, but I decided he was harmless enough, and he promised to share some of his story with me. (I mostly wanted to figure out why he was missing the bottom half of his front tooth but I didn't want to be rude!)

Anyways, he walked me to his seat and introduced me to his friend 'slim' (didn't understand where the nickname came from...he was a bit husky). But he was so very sweet. We sat and chatted for a solid 20 or 30 mins. I learned that both were born and raised in the area and that neither had left. I also learned that both sold marijuana for a living. Such a bummer because I could tell both were extremely smart...super articulate (and pretty dang witty). Kinda seemed like a waste of talent. But I also know there is always more to the story and if that's all you know and all you've seen...how would you know to do different?!?

The whole thing just made me so mad. I don't want to make excuses or justifications and while I believe that we all have a significant amount of choice (like what I blogged a few weeks back) that at the end of the day it's our call...I also can't help but feel super convicted that some people seem to have to make harder choices...or like there are hurdles put in their lane. And saying "life's just not fair" doesn't seem to make me feel any better.

Who do I blame for all this? Do I blame them? Their parents? My ancestors? Myself? I know it's not about blaming anyone (and if it was it would be a mixture of all the above) but I left feeling so small...so defeated.